Russell Wilson Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself

Russell Wilson Credit: Peter Yang

Russell Wilson is the man. 3rd round pick to Super Bowl in only two years, and the guy is only getting better. He’s not just a game manager and that is huge. Wilson is a legitimate threat to run for a first down, hit somebody on the long ball, and to just throw the ball away when the play isn’t there, maybe the most important trait in a young QB. Having lived in NY I’ve seen more interceptions out of the combined efforts of the Jets and Giants recent QBs than the normal NFL fan is used to. So being able to trust a player in only his 3rd year is an amazing feeling for a football fan. The man crush on Russell is pretty sizable. But it would be a lot bigger if he didn’t make me feel like a complete waste of life every day on his Instagram. The things that this man does on a daily basis compared to anything I have done present a solid case for why I should be killed for wasting air. I took the time between my scheduled self loathing masturbation sessions to really get a good feel on why Big Russ makes me wanna jump off a bridge.

 

russel god

INstagram carter

There is Russell Wilson thanking Jesus for all he has and doing a sweet pic stitch of his many touchdowns.

There is a picture of me, viciously Icing my buddy at like 10 in the morning. Why did I do it? No reason at all other than I like seeing him in pain.

russel rangers

instagram sexy rexy

Here is Mr. Wilson taking the time off from the busy life of being a professional athlete by just relaxing and being a professional athlete in another sport. I fizzled out of D3 basketball. Russell Wilson needed to decide which pro sport to play.

The above picture was the closest I will ever get to pro sports. Because I was a spot on Rex Ryan. Later that night I promised a girl the Super Bowl next year and fucked her feet. I’m like Christian Bale, full commitment to the role.

 

teamnosleep

instagram kjsjsinstagram taco joes

“Oh, I’m a Super Bowl Champion with the entire World in front of me from this point forward. Maybe I have time to kick back and relax? Nope I have #NoTime2Sleep. Better hit the ladder, throw some fade routes, and workout. Sleep? Haven’t heard of it, I’m to busy winning for sleep.”-Russell Wilson

These pictures showcase my diet, not once in awhile, always.Wings,  burritos, and pizza. All washed down with beer. I weighed 180 lbs my senior year of high school. Clocked in at a cool 255 lbs the other week. That is a solid 15 pounds a year. I gained a 4th grader. I’m team #EatTerriblyImmediatelyBeforeSleep

I feel like I did this to show the insane difference between what Russell and I view as important. He thinks it is good to show the fans how hard he is working and appreciates his life. I think people would like to see my half eaten burrito. Based on Instagram Russell Wilson’s life score=100,000. Bat Brennan’s current score=5, solely because I crushed that Sexy Rexy costume.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About Bat Brennan

23 year old born in Seattle, WA then raised on Long Island, NY. Love sports, beers, and all things American. I'm 6'6 and was probably the most talented high school forward ever to average 14 and 8. Still surprised the NBA didn't come calling. Or DI. Or DII.

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